Tag Archives: Carl Nichols

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June 19, 2014

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Christian Life, National Missions, Pastoring

Reflections of a Father

By Carl NicholsFather's play such an important role

As a dad and a pastor, I have noticed that Father’s Day is a constant reminder of the daunting task we have as men.  During creation, God established man as the cultivator of everything here on earth. Here are just a few examples:

  • Genesis 1:28 – God tells man to be fruitful, multiply, and rule over all of his creation.
  • Genesis 2:4-5 – We see that until man was created by God there was no one to “cultivate” the soil.
  • Genesis 2:15 – God commands man to care for the Garden of Eden.
  • Genesis 3:17-19 – After the fall of man, a part of the curse was that man would not only cultivate the earth, but the labor would be extensive and exhausting.

So how do we balance all that comes our way in life? How do we manage everything that needs managing? Here are a few things that I shared with our church on Father’s Day as priorities for men to cultivate.

Cultivate Your Life

1 Corinthians 13:11  says

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

The most important thing for a father/man/pastor to do is to ensure that they are growing personally in their own walk with God and as leaders in the kingdom. Several ways that I have found helpful in this are through a year long reading plan. I read at least two books per month in addition to my bible reading plan. Additionally I listen to a couple dozen podcast each month either while driving or falling asleep at night. Lastly, I rest, and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. If you are a single man, put down the video games, grow in Jesus, and cultivate your life now in preparation for your future wife and kids.

Cultivate Your Marriage

Ephesians 5:25-28 says

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 

If you are married, your first responsibility next to God is your wife. Marriage is fun, but it is something that you must work at and ultimately lay down your life for. It will not grow unless it is intentionally cultivated. It took nearly ten years for Julie and I to finally find the rhythm that worked for our marriage. Three key things that this includes for us are date nights with no distractions, weekends away, and an annual vacation without the kids.

Cultivate Your Children

Ephesians 6:4 says:

4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

As a father, I cannot cultivate or “bring my children” up in the “training and instruction of the Lord” by accident. Additionally, I only have a short amount of time before they are on their own. With this in mind we make the following things a priority:

  • We home-school our children
  • I am home everyday by 5:00PM – When meetings are essential, they are planned well in advance
  • I have a full day off every week for my wife and kids
  • We take an annual vacation with our children
  • My family travels with me much of the time

We by no means have found the perfect system, but I do believe these three things are absolutely essential for men and husbands to figure out.

What are some things you have found effective when balancing your life?  Click on ‘Leave A Comment’ at the top of this article and let us know!

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June 4, 2014

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National Missions, Pastoring

Summer Time

By Carl Nichols

Cookouts, sunshine, swimming pools, and vacations are all a part of summer.  No doubt people from your church will travel, and attendance will likely look like a roller coaster ride from June through August.  With that in mind, our staff at Relevant work very hard to set and manage expectations while seeing fruitful results during the summer.  Here are 5 things we have learned:

  1. Don’t assume that you can’t grow during the summer.  Although most churches do see numerical dips, don’t give up during the summer.  Even if you don’t grow, understand that this can still be used as a season of equipping and preparing for a healthy fall season.
  2. Look for relational opportunities for your people to connect.  Memorial Day, July 4th, and Back to School Blowouts are always relational and build excitement.
  3. Don’t do something just to do it.  If it doesn’t fit your mission, vision, and values, say an emphatic NO.  During the summer, all staff should take some down time.Always clarify the win for any event or activity you play so you have a clear scorecard of your success.  For more on mission, vision, and values, make sure and attend the first session of our “Healthy Church” track (The Foundation) at Summit.
  4. Make sure you, your pastor, and your staff all take some down time.  Everyone expects you to take a break in the summer.  They do!  You should, too!  I take 3-4 weekends off from speaking during the months of June and July.  This allows our people to hear from other great communicators, many of whom are a part of our own movement or staff.  Additionally, I make sure each of our staff has a couple of weekends to themselves as well.
  5. Do something fun for your kid’s ministry that makes them want to attend as much as they can, and even be excited enough to bring a friend.  This year at Relevant, we are doing “Red Hot Summer” that is focused on something red or hot every week of June and July.  Popsicles, sunglasses, and beach balls are just a few examples.

summer-49019_1280At Relevant, we kick off summer on Memorial Day weekend with a family fun day with water games, activities, food from the grill, and a very intense young versus old softball game.  Additionally, we kick off “fit groups” for relational building while people work to get that beach body they have always wanted.  Our win here is relationships that cannot be built on Sunday morning and that sometimes fall by the wayside because many of our small groups don’t meet during the months of June and July.

What’s your biggest summer struggle?  Click on ‘Leave a Comment’ at the top and join the discussion!

 

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May 20, 2014

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Christian Life, Family, Leadership, National Missions, Pastoring

Be Encouraged

Every once in a while as a pastor I see people doing their best to fight the good fight and honor God, yet the enemy just keeps attacking.  Maybe recent weeks have been very trying for you.  Maybe you are facing obstacles that seem insurmountable.  Maybe you feel like giving up.  I just wanted to take a couple of sentences and encourage you with a few thoughts.

Psalm 23:4 states, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (NIV)

Although I cannot explain all that may be happening in your situation, I can tell you that God’s promises are true, and that He is with you guiding your steps.  I want to encourage you to stay focused and not give up.  God’s plans for your life are bigger than you could ever imagine, and you will never have victory without a battle.  The truth is, the tougher the battle, the sweeter the victory.

I challenge you to expect greater things from God.  Never give up on His promises.  But also remember as you do, the enemy will relentlessly pursue distracting you from God’s plan for your life and your church.  Don’t give up!  Don’t give in!  Fight the good fight!

-Carl