It’s one of those sayings your parents used to always say that would really frustrate you about whatever situation you found yourself in. Maybe it was a night when they wouldn’t let you go out with your friends because of things happening at home that you were unaware of. Or maybe it was one of those times when you wanted to make a purchase you thought was a great “investment,” but your parents advised against it. And, of course, there’s the tear-filled, end-of-the-world moment after your first breakup, as you cried on your mom’s shoulder because you really did love her.

This year, I turned 30, and while I’m still far from being “experienced” in life and still have plenty to learn, I’ve had the opportunity to be on church staff for ten years and have been around all kinds of incredible leaders my whole life. One mind-boggling thing we do as churches is talk a lot about making an impact on the next generation. But when the next generation chooses to step into a call of ministry, how do we shape and encourage them to be humble servants of Jesus and dynamic leaders of people? So here are a few simple things I’ve learned over the last few years, with the hope of encouraging those of us leading people, whether young or seasoned in life.

Don’t Neglect an Opportunity to Learn

This might honestly be the most important thing for any leader. Often, young individuals are excited about the opportunity to jump in and lead people, to share their big ideas and deliver incredible sermons. But you’d be surprised by the amount of experience and wisdom in the people around you if you’d just be quiet and listen for a few moments. On the flip side, good leaders are always looking to make a difference, regardless of age or experience, ask yourself what new things you can learn from each experience. A couple of years ago, someone spoke into the lives of my friends and me, saying, “They might be 90% out of line and wrong in what they’re claiming about you, but what is that other 10% you can learn and improve from?” Over the last two years, I’ve been continually praying for myself and those around me, saying, “God, please help me and show me ways to be better today than I was yesterday, and give me a mindset to be better tomorrow than I am today, all for your glory.” Leaders are always learning; sometimes, it just takes intentionality to be grateful for the rooms you’re in and listen rather than speak. Be grateful you get to be in the rooms that you’re in and always show honor to the ones that invited you into them.

Be Intentional & Present

In 2023, we are the most relationally “connected” our culture has ever been, but we’re also the most emotionally disconnected. That’s why it’s critical to be intentional about the relationships we have, the people we lead, and the purpose God has placed in our lives. People are longing for something that is authentic and real. But with that intentionality takes work, awareness, and active presence in our lives. So what are you intentional and present for? Are you intentional about setting aside time to spend with your spouse and kids, so they know you’re present and not just always focused on “ministry?” Be intentional about knowing your strengths and weaknesses, so you can lead appropriately. Personally, I have to be extra intentional in how I communicate (something I’m still working on) and be present in how I communicate it. I mean, just because it makes sense in my mind it should be obviously clear in everyone else’s, right? I love the quote from Mark Sanborn: “Intentional leadership is being crystal clear on what you’re trying to accomplish and taking the right action every day to do it.” God has given you a purpose, laid out a plan, and surrounded you with people; now, be intentional in carrying out that calling, dream, and vision He’s placed on your life.

Trust in God’s Plan and Provision

This one may seem obvious, but it’s often dismissed. As we learn to lead and our influence grows, we sometimes become proud of our “accomplishments.” However, God hasn’t given us gifts and abilities for the purpose of helping us to grow His kingdom; He’s gracious in giving us these things to help us fulfill His desires. There are days when it doesn’t look like what we think it should. Let’s be honest; there are some days, weeks, and months when it feels like we keep running into a wall, repeating the same struggles over and over, as if life were some kind of GIF. God wants us to be available to do what He wants to do. We have to trust His plan and provision. Just because it doesn’t make sense to us doesn’t mean it doesn’t make total sense to Him; we just have to get out of the way.

Have Fun

I believe God delights in His creation, and we are an intricate part of that creation. In fact, we’re probably the most critical part. If God takes delight in the fact that He created us, we should take delight in the life we’ve been given. Too often, we sweat the little things and miss the miraculous. And the miracles are what make life fun. Go and make friendships with people you love being around, especially those you get to serve with. Watch those around you blossom into who God created them to be. Find joy in the fact that God chose you. Put a smile on your face, be a person others want to be around, and see what kind of catalyst that is for the broken world around you. Don’t take everything so personal and don’t take the moments for granted.

Honestly, I could continue discussing the many things I’ve learned from my 10 years of leadership experience, including lessons on how not to lead people based on ways I have and observations of others. We could dive into a whole separate article about the dangers of comparing your leadership and influence to someone else’s highlight reel. However, this is meant to be a short blog for you to read today and it’s already passed short. I hope it provides some valuable insights. Remember, strive to be better today than you were yesterday and embrace each day as an opportunity to be better tomorrow.

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Okay, fine, just one more! You may have heard the saying, “Work smarter, not harder.” I want to encourage you to modify that slightly. “Work smarter and work harder.” By working smarter, you can find creative ways to maximize your potential, but that doesn’t excuse you from putting in the effort. Show the people you influence that you’re a hard worker who also knows how to bring creative solutions.

About the Author: Aaron Dickinson is the location pastor of Real Life Church in Mountain Home, AR where he serves under Pastor Vince Daniel. He and his wife Michalie have two incredible kids and you’ll most likely find them playing golf, shopping, or resting as a family.